Elaine

Poems and Quotes Galore

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Confessions of a Young Black Woman

As I lay here I’m caught up in a world that promises so much and I linger in the thoughts of what lays ahead, the unknown. Then I drift off in a sudden love affair that is so smooth, no flaws. I try to figure things out but somehow your motions and emotions catch me off guard, your words sound like music to my ears. Little by little your face becomes a recurrent image in my mind and the thoughts of you bring me joy. The more I spend time with you the more I’m caught in your web of deception, and never would I have thought that I would be caught drowning in a sea of shame and memories I would like to have never created.
What have you done to me? Your eyes have said much, your action towards me has opened a world in which I’m not ready or prepared for but here I am before this door standing with my hands over my eyes, my mind in turmoil, my heart ready to fail, but I can’t give up. I’m forced to enter and life is no longer promising but is a nightmare I wish I didn’t have to face. Every image of you brings hatred and fear of the possibilities of our interaction. Fear for the things that might occur, which were to occur but didn’t happen. You know, starting where we left off. But then there is hatred so thick my mind cannot deal with, an anger which developed because of things I became aware of, things you carried me through because of your own pleasure. A question remains: “You knew all of this would happen; you were aware that this is what you wanted even before I got to know you?” Now my world is in a fits and I jump up, awaken by confusion and mental depression. Was this real; was it a fantasy or vision of what lies ahead? I look around and start to become aware of my environment. My eyes adjust to the light then, suddenly a familiar figure emerges.

To be continued…


{September 7, 2005}

1 Comments:

At 10:44 PM, Blogger laroper18 said...

Still waiting for a continuation...

 

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