Elaine

Innocence Lost

2007-11-14T09:12:00.000-08:00

Robbers! Thieves!

We have robbed the young of their innocence!

“Let them distribute them”, you shout; without even thinking about the repercussions of your statements.

“Yes let them have it… give it to them so that if they are doing it, they will do it safely”

Do we even realize what we have subjected our sons and daughters to,

We have given license to them to go ahead and dance the tango before they understand the steps.

Sex is something that not just one party, but both parties who partake in the act must enjoy.

Vaginas are not receptacles for male stimulations and penises are not wands that must be poked into every hole available.

The act of sex should be done with the underlining understanding that both parties must be pleased at the end of it,

Not that the male must erupt and dispense, while the female is left to wipe up herself after the male is finished.

Sex is an intimate dance, where two bodies are intertwined, which is not limited to the physical.

Emotions, spirits and minds are locked into one purpose – pleasing the other partner.

But what do we expect of our children, if we ourselves do not understand its intricacies.

Many times we have boast or felt proud about “knocking up dat one” or being “slapped up by that one”.

We have prostituted our bodies and have not requested pay,

We have claimed to enjoy sex, when we have not even tasted its luscious and succulent fruits.

But why not leave the children out of this,

Leave them to their naivety,

Save their innocence.

But no… we express our ignorance in songs and in movies,

We subject our children to crassness and think “dem fi kno dem tings ere”.

Look at them now,

What are the statistics?

Many of our daughters, starting from age eleven have children,

Many of our children are suffering from HIV/AIDS or have herpes, gonorrhea and syphilis.

And what about their mental states?

How can we convince ourselves that our children are fine, when they are engaging themselves in something that is way beyond the natural?

Instead of dealing with the cut, we wipe it with “sex education” and put on the band-aid of “condom distribution”.

So while the hurt and pain fester up, we as adults pat ourselves on the back for a job well done.

Job well done… we have lost their innocence!

Rambling

2007-03-20T14:16:00.000-07:00

Indeed, no sense in dispensing aqueous humor over things in the past. Better to store those events for future reference.
Once there is life there is still hope; well... if u give a damn.
Face things head on, makes no sense to run away from them, they'll back you into a corner another day.
Find peace first with urself then pray for peace to deal with others.
The beginning of an understanding of oneself brings revelation that is a lamp unto thy path
Face ur fears with a machete... Said another way: prepare urself mentally before facing your fears.
You cannot run away from urself, believe me i've tried.
Prepare for the worst and hope for the best.

Risks

2006-09-17T16:02:00.000-07:00

Two scenarios, two options

Scenario 1:

I could rip my heart out, place it on a platter between a burger bun, add tomatoes, lettuce, cheese and mayo, with some fries and a drink on the side.

Would you:

Pick out my heart, wash it off and put it on a pedestal with a protective shield around it? or would you
Pick up my heart burger and sink your teeth in it bursting all veins and arteries, squeezing my four chambered heart into a mushy fluid, which passes through your system as fast as you can eat it?

Scenario 2:

I could slowly remove my clothing and stand before you as bear as I can spill my guts.

Would you:

Run out of the room to call your friends to come have a look? or would you
Cover my shivering body with trust and confidentiality?

Which do you choose?

No Rasta Roun Here!!

2006-08-10T14:23:00.000-07:00

Yahweh I will praise,
Selassie died long time.
Rasta I am not,
But an Empress in my time.

Confessions of a Young Black Woman

2006-07-23T12:43:00.000-07:00

As I lay here I’m caught up in a world that promises so much and I linger in the thoughts of what lays ahead, the unknown. Then I drift off in a sudden love affair that is so smooth, no flaws. I try to figure things out but somehow your motions and emotions catch me off guard, your words sound like music to my ears. Little by little your face becomes a recurrent image in my mind and the thoughts of you bring me joy. The more I spend time with you the more I’m caught in your web of deception, and never would I have thought that I would be caught drowning in a sea of shame and memories I would like to have never created.
What have you done to me? Your eyes have said much, your action towards me has opened a world in which I’m not ready or prepared for but here I am before this door standing with my hands over my eyes, my mind in turmoil, my heart ready to fail, but I can’t give up. I’m forced to enter and life is no longer promising but is a nightmare I wish I didn’t have to face. Every image of you brings hatred and fear of the possibilities of our interaction. Fear for the things that might occur, which were to occur but didn’t happen. You know, starting where we left off. But then there is hatred so thick my mind cannot deal with, an anger which developed because of things I became aware of, things you carried me through because of your own pleasure. A question remains: “You knew all of this would happen; you were aware that this is what you wanted even before I got to know you?” Now my world is in a fits and I jump up, awaken by confusion and mental depression. Was this real; was it a fantasy or vision of what lies ahead? I look around and start to become aware of my environment. My eyes adjust to the light then, suddenly a familiar figure emerges.

To be continued…

{September 7, 2005}

Quote

2006-07-19T12:50:00.000-07:00

"The question of love is one that cannot be evaded. Whether or not you claim to
be interested in it, from the moment you are alive you are bound to be
concerned with love, because love is not just something that happens to you: It
is a certain special way of being alive. Love is, in fact, an intensification
of life, a completeness, a fullness, a wholeness of life."

--Thomas Merton

Mind, Heart, Body and Spirit

2006-07-18T15:34:00.000-07:00

If only he knew that my mind smiles at the thought of he and me,
How we could be until eternity.

If only he knew that my heart skips at the thought of his eyes piercing into mine,
As time floats by, but to we time ceased to be.

If only he knew that my body aches at the thought of his tender touch and warmth he will provide,
As we watch the sun go down with nothing but nature around.

If only he knew my spirit was pleased at the thought of him, just being he,
Spiritually intuned with The Frequency.

But all of these are just thoughts I have,
And the reality is..., we have never met.

Afraid

2006-07-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

... that I love him,
... that he loves me.
... that it can work,
... that it shouldn't.
... that he's serious,
... that i'm joking.
... that it won't work because of me,
... that we'll part, again because of me.
... of what people might think.
... that he can be the best thing in my life,
... that he is already.
... to get in too deep,
... I'm already there.
... there's no explanation for all of this,
... I don't want to explain.
... that i'm afraid of being afraid when I'm already afraid.

{March 11, 2006}

A Sista's Poem & a Brother's Response

2006-05-03T06:59:00.000-07:00

(Got this in an email)

Sista's Poem

Do you qualify to be the man I need you to be?

Will you be able to recognize the things youneed to see?

Will you be able to understand, thatI'm a good woman and in my life I need a good man?

Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to fertilize my unproduced seeds?

Can you fulfill, as I can, all of our needs?

Can you put me in my place if you see I am slippin'?

Can you talk to me, wholeheartedly?Not constantly trippin?

Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called all mine?

Can you leave the other women and temptations behind?

Can you come to me with your problems and not wait until it's too late?

Can you stand up and admit if you made a mistake?

Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be the honest ebony man I would want you to be?

Would you be able to look me in my eyes andadmit your feelings to me?

Could you take me in your arms and make love tome all night long?

Can you be sensitive and still be strong?

Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be my friend as well as my lover?

Can you put our love before any other?

Can you cherish me as if I were Diamonds & Gold?

Can you make me feel like I'm the lastwoman you'll ever hold?

Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called a good man?

If I have doubts can you reassure me and understand?

Can your love intoxicate me as if I were High?

To be in my life, I need to know.

Brother's Response

You ask, do I qualify.

Can I fulfill your needs and become the man you need me to be?

My sister, are you prepared for what you've asked for?

Can you handle the responsibility?

Can you accept that, by GOD, I am the chosen one, the authority, the comforter, and the head?

Will you submit and willingly follow my path?

Or will you fight with me instead?

If I am your King, will you treat me as such?

Will I get the best of your beauty and poise?

Or will I be subjected to an appearance neglected, and checked with some serious noise?

When I talk, will you listen?

I mean whole heartedly and feel me?

Or will you rush me just to make your point too?

Can I be the man at all times?

Even when it hurts?

Or is it just when it's convenient for you?

Can you love me for me, and not who you wish I could be?

Will you see the strong Black Man within?

Or will you always remind me of the all the past brothers behind me and make me pay for their sins?

If I don't send you flowers the day your co-worker received some, will you know that I love you still?

Or will my good name be uttered along with those other doggish brothers?

Will you question if my commitment is real?

Will you be patient and teach me to understand you, and allow my knowledge of your needs to grow?

Or will you shut me out when I ask, Babywhat's wrong?

Or will you respond with, "Well a REAL man would know!"

When we first met, what was it that caught your eye?

Was it my mind, my heart, my personality?

Or was it my suit, or my job, or do you lovewhat I drive, instead of what's driving me?

Yes I can, and I will, make love to you from midnight to the dawning of the sun. But, if I tell you I'm tired, will you trust I'm sincere or believe that there must be another one?

My sister, I love you and my heart can be yours.

No woman could lead me astray.

But like you, I have needs, so I beg of you, please, in this love thang meet me half way.

In life's tough times I'll hold you, in the rough times I'll mold you; your simplest wish will be my command.

My life is yours if need be.

Yes you can fully bleed me, and when hell comes, in your place, I'll stand.A good relationship is a powerful institution that must be built on a foundation of two. So to answer your question, YES sister, I do qualify.

To realize

2006-04-25T15:10:00.000-07:00

Author: Unknown

To realize the value of a sister ask someone who doesn't have one.

To realize the value of ten years ask a newly divorced couple.

To realize the value of four years ask a graduate.

To realize the value of one year ask a student who has failed a final exam.

To realize the value of nine months ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize the value of one month ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one minute ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize the value of one-second ask a person who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:
LOSE ONE.

My Thoughts - April 18, 2006

2006-04-18T08:50:00.000-07:00

“In business mistakes, misunderstandings and uncertainties cost too much bloody money! Therefore be sure to know all the details before going into business with anyone (bloody savages!!!)”

“Never let your body realize that your mind is stressing over something, because then everything else will shut down leaving the mind in more turmoil”

“Doing something good for someone costs more than you think or realize. Therefore be prepared to give more than you planned.”

“In the midst of a crisis, stop, hit your head on the wall for allowing it to happen, and then pick yourself up off the ground and relax. If that doesn’t calm you, run around the place screaming!” Caution: This will never solve anything but we do hope you feel more relaxed! :)

“To solve an urgent matter, find a quiet place and weigh your options faster. Seek help if you have to”

“When things seem to be falling apart before your eyes, and everything is NOT WORKING (stupid technology won’t work when you really need it), probably its best to go to sleep”

“Life is full of tests, how many have you failed today?”

Anonymous Quotes

2006-03-24T04:29:00.000-08:00

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Thoughts 1

2006-03-18T07:23:00.000-08:00

No one else could
ever take your place
... Without you,
this world would be
poorer by far.

- Anonymous

Nobody else can do
The work that God
Marked out for you.

- P.L. Dunbar

Your integrity and
character are like
snowcapped mountains
in the heat of the summer:
refreshing, sturdy, beautiful,
and magnificent even from
afar.

- Anonymous

Frustrated?

2006-02-16T04:52:00.000-08:00

... concentrated lazy ass male species!

... work dun at 3:30p.m., so dem stop wuk
at 3:00 fi leave at 3:30.

... den a gi you lip,

... wat di hell dem a maintain!

... everytin las minute,

... deh should hav mentally fit as a job
description.

.. hav fi go find me happy face fi strangers today

... I kno I should be tired but me tink mi body gave
up on trying or probably forgot how to.

... still busy!

... getting paid ... eventually!

... get free full belly ... I look forward to lunch times :)

... so am I frustrated?

Ask me next week when dem gone.

Windows version CSB

2006-02-11T07:24:00.000-08:00

Usually when you upgrade Windows its not that hard to adjust,
But with me, it took a while to get accustomed to it.
When inactive, it would go into sleep mode in record time,
When I was serious or in a rush, it decided to misbehave.
But then it grew on me.
It provided music, was company when I needed to study,
And caused muscle spasms.
Then one day it disagreed with my input,
I got upset and it shut down,
And now I sit here thinking about the friendship we had...
My Windows CSB won't respond and I feel empty inside!

The Best Expression of Love is Time

2006-02-07T04:36:00.000-08:00

The importance of things can be measured by how much time we are willing to invest in them. The more time you give to something, the more you reveal its importance and value to you. If you want to know a person's priorities, just look at how they use their time.
Time is your most precious gift because you only have a set amount of it. You can make more money, but you can't make more time. When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.
It is not enough just to say relationships are important; we must prove it by investing time in them. Words alone are worthless... Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is "T-I-M-E."
The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves. Men, in particular, often don't understand this. Many have said to me, "I don't understand my wife and kids. I provide everything they need. What more could they want?" They want you! Your eyes, your ears, your time, your attention, your presence, your focus - you time. Nothing can take the place of that.
The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention. Love concentrates so intently on another that you forget yourself at that moment. Attention says, "I value you enough to give you my most precious asset - my time." Whenever you give your time, you are making a sacrifice, and sacrifice is the essence of love...
You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving... Love means giving up - yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy, or time for the benefit of someone else.

- Warren, Rick, "The Purpose Driven Life: What on earth am I here for?", p.127-128

Let it flow

2006-02-07T04:34:00.000-08:00

Let the tears fall and out this flame inside,
Let its warm sensation flow down my check and water my soul.
When tears come they don't bring clarity or fortune,
But it releases the tension and keeps me going.

Let me talk

2006-02-07T04:26:00.000-08:00

Shut up and let me talk,
Too long now I sit here and listen to you go on and on.
Shut the hell up and let me speak,
Tired of hearing you run up you mout.
I have something to say,
So wait and let me articulate.
Too long have I murmured how I feel.
Shut up, its my turn,
Let my voice box vibrate your ear drums.

Sleep

2006-02-06T17:47:00.000-08:00

My love...
Where have you gone,
What did I do again?
I'm sorry for the love affair!

I lie in bed and think of you,
The hours spent together...
... the sparkle in my eye,
The pep in my step.
But then, a thought of him crosses my mind,
And I'm off again busy as a bee.

I miss our long night together,
Our few minutes in the middle of the day.
What do I have to do to get you back?
I need you more and more each day!

I've Been Busy!

2006-02-03T07:09:00.000-08:00

Busy:

Trying to remember the calculations of a lust I willingly forgot.
Thinking I've wasted 3 years in battle with clashes that were inevitable.
Shaking my lovely lady lumps in public with a man with no waist.
Learning the unspoken, non-body languages.
Trying to learn while being "taylored" to death.
Staying afloat while his message is relayed and keeping my stroke tight to not lose the race.
Administering to get paid and trying not to look like an ass while administering.
Catching up on some U and I, thinking about the concepts of Operating on a System, while storing Bases and manipulating Data.
Coming home late most night and reading my pillows with eyes wide shut.
Being a one woman entourage as we "keep our contacts close" because of the pelican system.
Trying not to speak french because I'm not going to be fed on a Friday at some cove.

So just in case you were wondering why Simmy Sed nothing from Jan 24, well guess what... she was BUSY!

You are not an accident

2006-01-24T04:34:00.000-08:00

Title: Unknown

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!

By: Russell Kelfer

Discover the Joy of Creative Thinking

2006-01-21T07:04:00.000-08:00

"Originality is the art of concealing your source."
- Thomas Edison

"A survey was done to discover the creativity level of individuals at various ages. After all the testing, the statistics indicated that 2% of the men and women who where in their forties were highly creative. As they looked at younger people, the results emerged that 2% of the thirty-five-year-olds were highly creative; 2% of the thirty-year-olds were highly creative. This went on down to each age group until they reached the seven-year-old children. Ten percent of them were highly creative. However, further study showed that 90% of the five-year-olds were highly creative. Between the ages of five and seven, 80% of us who are highly creative develop an image, a picture, an attitude that we are not creative, and we begin to deny that particular part of our God-given equipment."
- Skipp Ross with Carole C. Carlson, Say Yes to Your Potential (Nashville: Word, 1983)

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up."
- Pablo Picasso

"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
- Albert Einstein

"Highly creative people are dedicated to ideas. They don't rely on their talent alone; they rely on their discipline. Their imagination is like a second skin. They know how to manipulate it to its fullest."
- Annette Moser-Wellman, The Five Faces of Genius: The Skills to Master Ideas at Work (New York: Viking, 2001), 9.

"Creativity is the joy of not knowing it all. The joy of not knowing it all refers to the realization that we seldom if ever have all the answers; we always have the ability to generate more solutions to just about any problem. Being creative is being able to see or imagine a great deal of opportunity to life's problems. Creativity is having options."
- Ernie J. Zelinski, The joy of Not Knowing it All: Profiting from Creativity at Work or Play (Chicago: VIP Books, 1994), 7.

"The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers, but it takes a creative mind to spot wrong questions."
- Antony Jay

"Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work."
- Rita Mae Brown

"All human development, no matter what form it takes, must be outside the rules; otherwise, we would never have anything new."
- Charles Kettering

Keeper of the Keys

2006-01-11T14:09:00.000-08:00

By: Guy Gilchrist

You are the Keeper of The Keys.
You are the Guard of The Gate.
Waiting in line to get through that door
Is LOVE. And also HATE.
In line to enter is GENTLE PEACE.
And also VIOLENT WAR.
You must choose who may, and who
May not come through the door.
INTOLERANCE tries to sneak on through
On wings of FEAR, or PRIDE.
It hides behind DREAMS of BELONGING,
And tries to sneak inside.
Oh! Be alert! You're the Guard who decides
Who GOES and who may STAY.
You are The Keeper of The Keys to Your Mind.
Who will you let in today?

Elaine (Part 1)

2006-01-09T11:41:00.000-08:00

There was anticipation and excitement in the air, but the crowd was tense and tried to keep still.
The trumpet sounded, then there was silence...

The earth began to shake, the heavens rumbled, a baby started to cry, then a loud, deep voice shouted...

... "ELAINE, HER NAME SHALL BE ELAINE!"

Total Change

2006-01-09T11:29:00.000-08:00

I need a change!
A change in my step,
A change in my act,
A change...

I need a change!
Not a little,
Not half,
But a total overhaul

What do you do when you no longer want to do the things you usually do?
You change!
What do you do when the path you're on leads you somewhere you don't want to be?
You change!

I need a change!

Title: Unknown

2006-01-07T08:20:00.000-08:00

I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half of the things you do you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly. I am easily managed - you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically.
I am the servant of all great men; and alas, of all failures as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures. I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a man. You may run me for profit or run me for ruin - it makes no difference to me. Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you.
Who am I? I am habit!

Author: Unknown

High School Romance???

2006-01-05T23:43:00.000-08:00

Am I going crazy,
Making my emotions take me on a joy ride,
For having such thrills when in you presence?
I try to hide my affections,
But I think my eyes already told,
The way I feel for you,
The tale my heart must hold.
Those eyes of yours they captivate me,
Those dimples ooh-la-la,
The thought of you pleases me,
In my mind that's where you will be.
Our journey through High School must come to an end,
And if it will be, our friendship will never end.
Our future we must pursue,
But that does not mean it has to be me and you.
This thing, if anything, I will not rush,
But if it must our hearts if anything will definitely touch.
Until that day I will let our friendship grow.
Until that day I will continue until such.
Until that day...
Until that day.

{May 4, 2002}

Tribute

2006-01-05T23:22:00.000-08:00

For the many roles you have played,
For the many lives you have helped to mold,
For the many smiles you have created,
And for the many, many more things to come.

To a teacher, with a passion to teach boys,
To a mother who always nurtures,
To a wife who is and forever committed,
A standard for us all.

For the many years you have graced us,
And for the many more to come,
We want to appreciate and honour you.
Not only for the life you have lived but for
for the wisdom you have gained.
We, as your children, sit at you feet to hear
you as you speak.

{2004}

Clarity!

2006-01-05T22:48:00.000-08:00

What is wrong with this picture, here you are showing me your love, but I thought we were just friends.

You say that you are married to your music but why do you look at me that way.

I will not be the mistress to your music!

We need to stop! Your touch they say so much or am I reading into your actions too much.

I'm the only person you do this to, but why?

Why must you feel this way about me?

Why do I let you act this way around me?

Why do you show so much?

Friends is what you claim but I allow you to spoil me with your "comforting".

I really don't mind the attention but what is the picture we are painting for others around?

We are just friends but why do I let you carry on.

I look into your eyes; by the way I love your eyes, they scream so much to me, they both tell the tale.

We need to speak, to put my mind at ease, to solidify what you claim, not only in my brain.

I'm a bit confused, clarity and definition of this relationship is what I really need.
Clarity!!!

{2004}

The First Time

2006-01-04T16:39:00.000-08:00

Sitting down I look at you, you're ready and waiting for anything I want to do. My mind roams for awhile then I decide, "I'm ready!", I think to myself. But am I really ready? Am I ready for this love affair, this addiction, this... Reality kicks in. I touch you, you respond so gently and my structure becomes weak. "I'm giving in!", my body screams. No words are exchanged, we get into a rhythm, the passion, the romance, the intensity... I WANT MORE!!!